Echolalia Mania

I got home a little early today to put the finishing touches on a sci-fi short story I've been working on for a week. My boy's eyes twinkled when he saw mommy come home. Call me nuts, but I'm a very optimistic pessimist. As much as I intend to be productive at home, I already know how near impossible this can be. He gets so happy to see me that he doesn't really know what to say, so here's how our communication goes most evenings:

(I'm on my laptop sitting on my bed, and he's roaming around the room doing random stuff like stimming, singing, tapping the walls, making himself belch, jumping up and down, saying the same phrases over and over, shaking his head rapidly from side-to-side, making squawking sounds, and on a bad day, screaming and projectile spitting. Finally, he'll play some CDs, usually keeping the same song on repeat. It's usually the most annoying track on Earth ...)

Nabeel: Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: I'm good. <smile>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: I'm good, honey. <smile>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hello, mommy, how are you?
Me: Good. <smile>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: I'm good, babe. <smile, wink> How was your day?
Nabeel: My day was good ... Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: mmHmm. <smile>
3 seconds later
Me: What did you have for lunch today at school?
Nabeel: Food.
Me: What kind of food?
Nabeel: Brown.
Me: Oh! Cool.
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: I'm good. <no smile, stares at laptop screen>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hello, mommy, how are you?
Me: I'm good. <half smile>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: Good. <fake smile>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: <loud belch> Hello, mommy, what's up?
Me: mmHmm
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Mommy is doing works on her computer.
Me: Yes, I am, love. <puckers lips and makes smooching sound at him>
Nabeel: <laughs and does it back>
3 seconds later
Nabeel. Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: Good <nods>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: Good <poker face>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hi, mommy. How are yooooooooooou?
Me: Great, honey. <smile, scream silently in my mind>
3 seconds later
Nabeel. Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: Good <nods>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: I'm good. <smile, look at the clock>
3 seconds later
Nabeel: Hi, mommy, how are you?
Me: Good <poker face>

In case you don't know, many autistic individuals display echolalia (uncontrollable repetition of words or phrases). This has been one of Nabeel's most definitive characteristics.

This carries on from about 6:30 p.m. until bedtime, which is usually between 8:30 to 10:30 p.m. (much longer when it's the weekend or a holiday). If you're wondering why I don't talk more when he does that, well, he doesn't like talking. That's about all he can handle. If I start asking too many questions or putting him on the spot, he starts growling and panting, meaning "Shut uuuuup, woman." He's 16 after all. Controlling the chatter is important to him, so I let him take the wheel. Oh, and I must keep the affection to a minimum, too. Too much TLC is like in the movies when they drop the lit cigarette on a trail of gasoline.

Believe it or not, this simple method of communication took years to perfect, lots of hard lessons. Lots of trying, royally failing, then remembering what not to do. Yes, sometimes the repetitiousness makes me want to scream and flail and throw my own tantrums because it's annoying, but I try to keep those volatile emotions inside my head. :)

My sweetie gets all the smiles and cheer I can muster, no matter how bad of a day I had, how worried I am about bills, how angry I am that a Houston team lost another game, or how profoundly my head hurts. He should never have to pay for any of that. Once I'm home, and my kiddo is safe and sound, I am HAPPY MOM because one crucial lesson I've learned is that he can sense my emotions, tenfold if I let them show even a little. All it takes is a negative tone or a slight frown, and he snaps into a bad mood and starts getting loud. So the key here is to let only good vibes surface. It's a difficult thing to do at times, but that's what being his mom is all about. It's a technique that took eons to perfect. I've screwed up many times. All part of this special world.

I'm sure every autism parent has a very specific method that caters to his/her child's personality. In the textbooks and media, autistic people are often portrayed as uniform, but I can say for certain that they're as unique as their fingerprints.

My goal each day is to take deep breaths, stay calm, and keep the peace while still maintaining a productive and structured environment for my son. All else, I keep below the radar. <smile>