My autistic teen has been a little aggravated lately, and I can't get him to express what is on his mind. I feel so helpless whenever I can't seem to help him snap out of doom and gloom. With him, it could be any number of things. School ended a couple weeks ago, throwing off his routine. Today was the first day of ESY (extended school year/summer school). I didn't get any frantic calls from teachers or admin, so I think it's safe to imagine it was a good day. His aunt, my sister Yazzy, was in the hospital for a week the beginning of June with heart issues. My baby sis (29) had to get a pacemaker. I was absent day after day, spending as much time at the hospital with her and the family as possible while he had to remain home with stepdad, waiting for me to come home. Many nights, I didn't get home until after he was tucked in. So all things considered, I'm not sure if that is what has built up in his mind and is bugging him. Or, it could be something as simple as a headache or boredom, and he just can't find the words to express it. He's been smiling less, refusing hugs, lying around humming to himself, pacing.
Damn you, autism.
Anyway, he doesn't like to read books, but when I went to pull in his bedroom door after he'd fallen asleep (the nightly routine), I noticed a Toy Story book lying on the pillow next to him. He's had it forever. That is on his short list of favorite movies, so obviously he found a way to comfort himself. He's never done this before.
I swear I could've stood in that doorway staring at this adorable scene until sunrise. But I am not a stalker mom, so I smiled and shut the door quietly, feeling a speck of relief that my boy was able to find some solace and fall asleep peacefully (also with the help of melatonin).
With an hour and a half to spare before my bedtime, I exhaled and finished up this beauty. It was supposed to be a dahlia, but I changed the petal arrangements midway to make it my own creation. I do that a lot. Can't help myself. It's just a prototype, anyway. I'm dabbling with giant crepe paper flowers. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect, right. Good thing my family doesn't mind that our house looks like a flower shop. Have I told you how much I love Italian crepe paper? 